What I Learned Today (I learned From My Teenagers)
Every teenager knows more than their parents and theyll be the first to instruct you when youre wrong, embarrassing, or just plain stupid. Ive been working hard at updating my Teenager-Understanding Credentials but its an uphill struggle and the rules change often. Every day is different, but here are all the things I learned from my young teenagers just today:
1. If I can keep my mouth shut while driving teenagers home, theyll forget Im there and talk freely. If I cant keep my mouth shut, theyll get a ride home from someone elses parent.
2. A playa is a guy who is a womanizer, not the Spanish word for beach.
3. Urbandictionary.com is very helpful with teen verbiage, see #2 above. Use the site with caution; its on the edge of the I dont really want to know this realm.
4. I should not, under any circumstances including snow storm, earthquake, or hurricane, wave to my teenager when hes at a social event that includes girls.
5. Moms are not allowed to say dude. Just as an aside - I think its against the Mom Code of Self-Respect as well. However, I may be called dude by a teenager and thats acceptable if theyve started the sentence with dude and ended it with dude. Its all so complicated but Im learning.
6. I should never say I like one of my teenagers favorite songs because Ill never hear them play it again. Hmm... maybe I should work that to my advantage (evil grin.)
7. My teenagers current favorite foods all come from restaurants and are nothing that... I could make... at home... with the family gathered around the table... without the TV.
8. Sponge Bob is gay and Led Zeppelins Stairway to Heaven is the bomb. Wait, the bomb is my expression and Im not sure what the current hip rad cool far out word is. Im not worried though, my teenagers will surely correct me before the day is over. I have already clarified that gay does not mean what I think it does.
9. After a long hard day, young teenage boys still occasionally like to have their backs scratched at bedtime, but it has to be their idea and theyll deny it ever happened in front of friends, siblings, and themselves.
10. Everyone else is doing it, Youre a mean mom, and You wouldnt understand (said by an award-winning dramatic actress) are still a part of teenage vernacular. I vaguely remember using these phrases on my mom many, many years ago. Ahhh
. at last Im on solid ground, at least until tomorrow when Im bound to learn so much more.
Teenagers are persistent but impatient teachers with plenty of attitude, I mean character, and most days I am up to the challenge. However, there are other days when I just cant seem to learn and find myself flipping through the yellow pages wondering if there is a Recovering Parents of Teenagers Group where I can get some mentoring.