Parenting Teenagers

   What I Learned Today (I learned From My Teenagers)

   Every teenager knows more than their parents and they’ll be the first to instruct you when you’re wrong, embarrassing, or just plain stupid.  I’ve been working hard at updating my Teenager-Understanding Credentials but it’s an uphill struggle and the rules change often.  Every day is different, but here are all the things I learned from my young teenagers just today:

1.  If I can keep my mouth shut while driving teenagers home, they’ll forget I’m there and talk freely.  If I can’t keep my mouth shut, they’ll get a ride home from someone else’s parent.

2.  A “playa” is a guy who is a womanizer, not the Spanish word for beach.

3.  Urbandictionary.com is very helpful with teen verbiage, see #2 above.  Use the site with caution; it’s on the edge of the “I don’t really want to know this” realm.

4.  I should not, under any circumstances including snow storm, earthquake, or hurricane, wave to my teenager when he’s at a social event that includes girls.

5.  Moms are not allowed to say “dude.”  Just as an aside - I think it’s against the Mom Code of Self-Respect as well.  However, I may be called “dude” by a teenager and that’s acceptable if they’ve started the sentence with “dude” and ended it with “dude.”  It’s all so complicated but I’m learning.

6.  I should never say I like one of my teenager’s favorite songs because I’ll never hear them play it again.  Hmm... maybe I should work that to my advantage (evil grin.)

7.  My teenager’s current favorite foods all come from restaurants and are nothing that... I could make... at home... with the family gathered around the table... without the TV.

8.  Sponge Bob is “gay” and Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven is “the bomb.”  Wait, “the bomb” is my expression and I’m not sure what the current “hip” “rad” “cool” “far out” word is.  I’m not worried though, my teenagers will surely correct me before the day is over.  I have already clarified that “gay” does not mean what I think it does.

9.  After a long hard day, young teenage boys still occasionally like to have their backs scratched at bedtime, but it has to be their idea and they’ll deny it ever happened in front of friends, siblings, and themselves.

10.  “Everyone else is doing it”, “You’re a mean mom”, and “You wouldn’t understand” (said by an award-winning dramatic actress) are still a part of teenage vernacular.  I vaguely remember using these phrases on my mom many, many years ago.   Ahhh…. at last I’m on solid ground, at least until tomorrow when I’m bound to learn so much more. 

   Teenagers are persistent but impatient teachers with plenty of attitude, I mean character, and most days I am up to the challenge.  However, there are other days when I just can’t seem to learn and find myself flipping through the yellow pages wondering if there is a Recovering Parents of Teenagers Group where I can get some mentoring.
                                                                                   ...Peggy Baron